Divide and Conquer

Do you think you are separate?
An island unto yourself.

Do you listen to your monkey mind
Telling you that you are different,

That you are inferior, superior, that you don’t belong?

That you belong over there with them…

With your own kind?

There you are standing alone

Pretending to be stronger for it.

Sticking with your look-alikes, your sound-alikes, your do-alikes.

Are you now stronger

Remaining stagnant in your space

Pretending to do good while judging how “they” are?

A do-gooder for self

A do-gooder for same

Fooled, foolish, and foolishly gained.

You speak of changing the world,

Of how awful the world is.

You have travelled the world

Know your community inside and out

Yet remain stuck in your spot

Stuck in the same circle.

A circle with no end

That repeats itself with no break

A never-ending cycle that goes nowhere.

You can’t fly if you don’t spread your wings.

You can’t see newly if you don’t move.

Move over, move up, but move!

You are complaining about how “they” are.

Judging and insisting on change

While you stand with your ilk and remain paralyzed on the spot.

You don’t like the view “over there”

On the other side

Where “they” are.

Have you looked at you from over there?

Your own mire is so comfortable

You don’t see the division within it too.

You’re wide-eyed looking over there to claim to see

But really to examine all the failures and point

While you have your blinders on inside your circle.

Yeah, keep yourself separate, divided.

Keep telling yourself you are doing good

Making things better, a better life

For you and yours

While you divide and conquer….

                                                 Conquered and divided.

by Debora Lynn Garcia

Forgive and Forget

This subject was heavy on my mind this morning as I listened to Joel Osteen speak about how God forgives always, and how His forgiveness is always greater than any error one could ever commit.  I got to thinking about a couple of people I have chosen not to forgive and whose transgressions I refuse to forget.  What would it mean for me to forgive these people?  I am a forgiving person, and have long understood that “forgive and forget” does not translate into allowing harmful or toxic people to continue in my life.  So why have I chosen, knowingly, to hang onto the pains caused by these people?  They are not still doing anything to me, and this allows them to continue in my life in a toxic way.  This is my self-examination today.

From Dictionary.com
Word Origin & History

FORGIVE

O.E. forgiefan "give, grant, allow," also "to give up" and "to give in marriage;" from for- "completely" + giefan "give" (see give). The modern sense of "to give up desire or power to punish" is from use of the compound as a Gmc. loan-translation of L. perdonare (cf. Du. vergeven, Ger. vergeben; see pardon).

From Merriam-Webster.com
Full Definition of FORGIVE

transitive verb

1          a :  to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult>

            b :  to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt>

2          :  to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) :  pardon <forgive one's enemies>

From Dictionary.com
Word Origin & History

FORGET

O.E. forgytan, from for- "passing by, letting go" (cf. forbear, forgo) + gietan "to grasp" (see get). A common Gmc. construction (cf. O.S. fargetan, Du. vergeten, Ger. vergessen "to forget"). The literal sense would be "to lose (one's) grip on," but that is not recorded in any

Germanic language.

  

From Merriam-Webster.com
Full Definition of FORGET

transitive verb

1          a :  to lose the remembrance of :  be unable to think of or recall <I forget his name>

            b obsolete :  to cease from doing

2          :  to treat with inattention or disregard <forgot their old friends>

3          a :  to disregard intentionally :  overlook —usually used in the imperative <I shouldn't have said that, so just forget it>

            b :  to give up hope for or expectation of —usually used in the imperative <as for        prompt service, forget it>

intransitive verb

1          :  to cease remembering or noticing <forgive and forget>

2          :  to fail to become mindful at the proper time <forgot about paying the bill>

So… to completely give a let-go!  This is why it is a gift to oneself.  

“Forgive and forget” is made a difficult practice by the confusion that it means to release another from his or her transgressions and allow them back – back in one’s life, back home, back in a group, etc.  This is faulty thinking and leads only to heartache and often bitterness of the one preoccupied and determined not to forgive.  That takes effort, but forgiveness actually takes far less effort!  Every action receives a reaction from the universe.  So consider if we forgive, we receive a certain path to take, and if we do not, we receive another.  Which would you have – one chosen for you, or one that you choose freely and with far less effort?

One can find many Bible verses about forgiveness.  Whether you claim a religion or not, they are all good advice, and worthy of much consideration and action.  However, I have yet to find a verse that says we should forgive AND forget.  I think forgetting, as in something being involuntarily or voluntarily wiped from one’s memory is impossible – at least in a force-it-out kind of way. 

As used in the context of forgive and forget, the forgetting is in letting go; it is a ceasing of purposely and purposefully recalling.  Let go of the attachment you have to the error.  Let go of the emotion you have attached to the error.  Most importantly, let go of how right you are about the error.  Whether you are right or not about the error, it is still the error.  Just let it gooooooo...   and let the universe swallow it up for you.  It is just as simple (or difficult, depending on one’s outlook) to practice letting go as it is to practice harboring the judgment and anger.  Yes, it is a practice.  We become better at that which we focus – positive or negative.  Much like forgiveness, there is another choice about direction here.  Which will you choose?

Forgiving and forgetting is not releasing the one (or ones) who hurt you.  To the contrary, it is about releasing yourself from the hurt.  The life path of the person who hurt you does not change whether you choose to forgive and forget, or not.  But yours DOES!  We choose our own paths, even when we are asleep at the wheel, and inaction is still an action. 

Wake up!  Pay attention!  Turn on your conscious GPS!  If you could draw out your choices over your lifetime as a map, how would those twists and turns look?  Where have they taken you, and what journey are you still on?  Are you progressing?  Do you feel good about your direction?  Are you going in circles only to end up in the same spot all the time?  Are you lost – wandering aimlessly?  Each choice takes a particular path.  Each choice rewards us with something.  We each created our own maps, life journeys, and painted ourselves into a particular picture.  Where are you headed?

(It is important to remember that transgressions, whether real or perceived, are always real to the one who owns the experience.)

  

References

Forget. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved January 19, 2014, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Forget

Forget. (n.d.). Merriam-Webster.com. Retrieved January 19, 2014, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/forget

Forgive. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved January 19, 2014, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Forgive

Forgive. Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Retrieved January 19, 2014. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/forgive

Choosing Unity Over Division~Accord1: Multicultural Ministry 04/03 by Mixed Race Radio | Entertainment Podcasts

Choosing Unity Over Division~Accord1: Multicultural Ministry 04/03 by Mixed Race Radio | Entertainment Podcasts

Haikus by Night

Your expectations

Are a box I cannot fit

Keep them for yourself

You know you were wrong

You treated my son so bad

That’s why we don’t talk

So done with people

Who think they can mistreat me

You called yourself friend

Lesbians are bad

And Muslims are even worse

He says in his hate

Taken for granted

They are God’s gift to mankind

Take care of your pets

You should be ashamed

You can’t look in the mirror

But you pretend well

I took your photo

Then you asked me for my hand

Now we have four dogs

I asked God for you

No, I don’t mean by your name

He knew anyway

Tell me how you knew

You were supposed to show up

Did you hear my prayer

Can’t sleep, racing thoughts

So much on my mind tonight

So I write haikus

My head is on fire

Nothing can extinguish it

Please God rescue me

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

The Greatest Gift:

¹"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  ²And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  ³And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

⁴Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  ⁸Love never fails.  But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part.  ¹⁰But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.  ¹¹When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.  ¹²For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face.  Now I know in part,  but then I shall know just as I also am known.

¹³And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Dear God... Thanks!

Dear God, thank you for this great country I live in.  I want to thank you in advance for a country healed, a country united, a country progressing, a country that lives inside a world that works for everyone and leaves no one out.  I am grateful to live in a place that lets me pray with others and not in fear or seclusion.

Divine Spirit, please speak to those who make choices for our country that they remain mindful of its citizens.  Please remind us all to be patient with one another – we are indeed in this together as one nation, just as we are divinely one.

I pray today also for the safety of our troops abroad and at home.  Please bless them with a healing light and a light that guides them home safely.  I pray and give thanks for an end to the fighting soon.

Dear God, I pray for the prosperity of this country, as well as each individual.  Please keep us mindful of those that cannot help themselves, and those who need our temporary help to fill in a gap.  Please keep them safe, covered, and fed until they can be on their own two feet again.  I am grateful that you carried me through those times.

I am so thankful for, as I like to say, “my real life where I park my car.”  I am eternally grateful for my healthy family, and so blessed to have such wonderful children – healthy, smart, hard-working, and respectful.  Also, I stand in gratitude for a husband that supports me in whatever path I choose for myself.  Thank you for a group of parents that love me just the way I am, and even when how I am changes.  I love and am so proud of my diverse family, which includes everyone from third cousins to family add-ons that we choose, and our furry kids.  I am so blessed.

Finally, I come to you in gratitude for the gift of forgiveness – from me and for me.  I know that everything is in divine order ALL the time, and that no matter how its outward appearance shows itself to me, You have the master plan.  Thank you for the many blessings of your divine love.  I pray these things and give thanks for all through the light and love of Jesus Christ, our wayshower.  Amen.

Waging peace is how I learned from her.

I wrote this on January 12, 2013, after finding out about a dear friend transitioning (passing):  

An earth angel has left us behind to take her place in Heaven.  As is her usual way, she made one last check of things and flew off with her delicate little wings out the window to begin her new journey.

Feeling blessed and thankful today to have known and been touched by such a wonderful spirit.  I've tried to find them, but words do not exist to explain the kindness, gentleness, patience, and example of unconditional love she so quietly exhibited to all who paid attention.  She was living proof that strength and wisdom can come in the gentlest, quietest way.  I celebrate her life – quietly.

My heart goes out to the George family, and a little piece of it with "Mom."  Prayers of condolence, healing, and the grace of light and peace….    <3

All I can say is, you had to have known her to fully "get" this.  I hadn't seen her in about 10 years, and refused to say goodbye to her the last time I had a chance.  I wasn't mad at her.  I adored her.  Circumstances at the time felt like I may not see her again, and I was too brokenhearted to face her.  Odd thing is, I know she never harbored judgement about it. I know this because I knew her.  Damn... I wish you would have known her.

Challenge!

Allow me to digress for a moment to catch you up:  My new game on this planet is "wage peace."  Our pastor gave a fabulous Sunday lesson several months ago about focusing on war, fighting, and struggle.  It was about what we focus on will persist.  For some reason this really resonated with me that Sunday, and continues to whisper in my ear.  So I am on a mission to wage peace.  How this looks for me is that when something that comes up that feels hard, uncomfortable, a struggle, or defying reasonable explanation, I seek to find the lesson in it rather than resisting it or being angry.

With that explained, my friend transitioning was a perfect opportunity to go inward and see what I learned from her.  It was easy to figure out, though I was surprised at what a big deal it was.  Here's what I learned:

I was lost in thought today about my friend that made her transition, and considering what I learned from knowing her, and recognizing what I wish I had learned sooner.

I like to garden - play in the dirt.  I was thinking today about self-propagating plants.  Those are the kind from which you can pull a piece off and start a completely new plant, i.e., jade plant, coleus, cactus, etc.

Here is what I learned.  Our hearts are like those plants.  When we give a piece away, it lives on; and who knows how many times that piece might be parted out again.  It is so worth it and keeps you alive.  Sometimes it might get broken, but it still lives on even outside of you because you shared it.

If you lock it up and never give it away, it withers and may shrink away or forget what it is like to be shared.  It cannot thrive that way.  So give pieces away freely and often.

Freely give pieces of your heart away.  The return is great.  Plant pieces of it wherever you go -- even if you do not get to see what comes of it.  When you pluck a piece from your heart, new stems grow and your capacity becomes greater and more opportunities to give it away appear.  Much like a plant NEEDS to be trimmed and plucked for its vitality and further growth, so it goes with our hearts.

Giving your heart away is not the same as giving up your heart.  It is also not the same as “giving it up” or “putting out.”  You must love yourself FIRST so your heart can take root and grow strong to weather the storms that WILL come.  When you love yourself first, you can give pieces away and be stronger for having done so.  If not, you may give your heart up to someone or something – abandoning it, neglecting it, forsaking it.  It will uproot easily like that plant that has not been cared for properly.  Its roots are shallow and poor.  So love yourself first and grow a strong foundation and deep roots.

So plant away!  Peace out....