They Better Recognize!
There will be those for whom you will never be enough, and
that’s okay! It’s okay because they
probably aren’t enough for themselves anyway.
They are already torturing themselves without even realizing it. Resist participation in the “Not Enough”
game.
There will be those that will say one thing to you when they’re
happy with you, and turn around and say the exact opposite when they aren’t. Resist the confusion by this confused
person. It’s a ploy to pull you into
their snare. Do not enter. You don’t need them to tell you what’s right
and what’s wrong about you. If you
listen to your heart, you already know the truth of the matter.
There will be those who will intentionally say or do things
to hurt you. Let’s be clear, this person
is a bully. It may indeed hurt, but that
doesn’t mean they are right. Let someone
you trust know how you are being treated just as fast and as often as you
can. Don’t keep this perpetrator’s
secrets about who they are, and stop buying into the secrets you are beginning
to believe about yourself. This is how
they feed! Don’t believe the negative ad
campaign, and don’t feed the monsters.
There will be those that will fall short of their promises
to you. I’m not talking about false
promises; I’m talking about promises made before they had any idea of what the
follow-through would have to be. “When
the going gets tough, the tough get going” sometimes means that person can’t
hold up to their lofty promises.
Frustrating, yes, but it means nothing – absolutely nothing – about you.
There will be those who will offer to loan you money, or do
other favors for you in order to have some control in and over your life. This is one way they keep you “loyal.” Do not deal with this person, and do not be
this person. Favors should be from the
heart with no expectation of the receiver.
(And, no, I’m not talking about the legalities of a money loan. I am speaking about your personhood.)
Predators are everywhere, and they aren’t just of the
violent and/or sexual nature. If someone
purposes to bring you down, they are preying on you. Recognize when someone is doing this to you,
and don’t fall for it. They are lonely
down there and wish you harm for their own gain.
There will be those that discount your feelings, your
health, your struggles. Believe in
yourself and don’t let these issues define you. As well, don’t let what people
refuse to understand define you either. Break
free from their thinking.
There will be those that are just simply unhappy, angry
people. They will create things to blame on you, and they will incite your
belief and bewilderment in their story.
If it sounds outlandish, it is!
You can NEVER be responsible for someone else’s happiness. An unhappy person will be unhappy no matter
where they go or whose company they keep.
Notice that unhappiness just follows these people. You truly never will be enough of anything
for these types. If they can’t make
themselves happy, they also cannot make YOU happy. Also, do not depend on someone else for your
own happiness. You own this one for
yourself, like it or not, as do they.
If you can’t physically distance yourself from these kinds
of people, at least do not allow them to take up space for free in your
thoughts, as your thoughts are at the forefront of your well-being. Do not allow their insidious nature to take
over. You guard your heart and mind through
your thoughts. Someone may be able to
take over physical space, but only you hold the key to your thoughts. Don’t give it away, and keep these people out
of your head. This you do have 100% control
over.
Now it’s up to you!
(It always has been, actually.)
I say these things so matter-of-factly, I know. It is work to be on guard and to be our own
biggest advocate, but the payoff is freedom and power. A very important piece of this is also
recognizing the people in your life that are good for you, that love you just because
they do. These are the people that you
want to surround yourself with. These
are the people that are worthy of your time, caring, and concern. The more you surround yourself with these
people, the less space there is for the others.
This is what being responsible for yourself looks like. It’s up to you to be different. If you’re waiting around for people around
you to change, you’re on the wrong track.
Be responsible. Nothing changes
until your own thoughts and actions do.
Are you keeping that friend around who hurts your feelings
or never shows up for you? Why? Are you keeping that potential suitor around
just in case another better one doesn’t come along? Why? Are
you still going to the family gatherings only to be treated like a
stepchild? Why? In the pretend act of not hurting someone
else’s feelings, what do you think you are doing to yourself? Certain situations may be unavoidable at
times, but that’s when I refer you back to guarding your thoughts!
We have this fairy tale that we aren’t responsible for how
our lives turn out. This tale allows us
to ignore responsibility and refuse to take action, which oddly enough IS
action and shows up all over our lives. All
you have to do is look at how your life is going, and I’m not talking about how
you coordinate it to look on the outside.
I’m talking about your real life – how it looks from the inside. We all know a horrible person whose life
looks like it is unfairly working out so well for them. (Someone just popped into your head, right?) But trust me, were you able to be in
their skin, it is not that at all. So
watch out for that envy! The shiny
things aren’t always what you think, and there is a price to be paid.
You are your best
asset!
My Papa told me once to listen only to me in the end. He said that people’s opinions were only
worthwhile up until they start making you feel bad, vs. making you think. As usual, he was right. Of course. (Smile.) I have come to understand this better as I
get older and have become more practiced at it.
I was 13 when we had this talk, and dealing with some bullies at
school. I was feeling very unsure of
myself, and he was very clear to me that the girls that were hating on me and
bullying me were very unhappy people and wanted to make an example out of me
and a few other friends. He was very
clear with me that I should not turn around and be that way to someone else in
order to fit in or make myself feel better as they were doing to me. He was also very honest and enlightened me to
the fact that these people would always be around, and the best thing I could
do was trust in myself. He and my mother
both taught me that being a happy person in spite of it was the best medicine.
There will be moments
when you perceive that you are all you have. You just have to remember that indeed you
do!
