What You Say, You Are

As I was fooling around with fun filters after church today, I was reminded of a time when someone accused me of taking my nickname (Queen BB) too seriously. (The nickname didn't follow me back home from Arizona.)  I was managing a medical office at the time, and an employee went to two of the practice partners and complained that I really thought I was a queen. (I mean, seriously...?) Was I able to go back now, my response would be different. Rather than taking a defensive position, I simply would say, "Well, I am, as are all of you. I am simply comfortable in all of my authority to say that is who I am, and that is who you are. Join me in knowing who we are meant to be." Darn that 20/20 hindsight! But then, I wasn't that sure of my own spot in life at the time. There is nothing wrong in honoring yourself in your rightful spot on the throne of your life -- and if you want some extra gravy, allow others to be in their rightful spot as well. After all, as I often say, "When I uplift even one to equal standing, I lose nothing and gain it all -- not only for myself, but for all of us."  Why not start where you are - within yourself? Who better to start with? Now, just don't get stuck there! You have got to spread the space and the love. That's the secret ingredient!

Today in church, Rev. Kev had on the most beautiful garment, and I told him he looked like the "King of Unity." (If you'd like to see for yourself, you can see today's service here: Clean It Up - Get Your Spiritual House In Order) He was so sparkly up there, all in his zone. Gorgeous! Hopefully, he took that as a compliment and not a rub, not knowing this backstory of mine. I'm 99.99% sure he took it correctly.

Right now a favorite quote by Zig Ziglar comes to mind:  You may not be what you say you are, but what you say, you are.  💣🤯💥

"Back in the day," there was something "wrong" with being (seemingly) too proud of one's self. Most of us, and especially if you are female, it was just sheer vanity to see our own light and shine it. We were expected to shrink in many instances. Fairly early on in my parenting, but maybe not as soon as I wished, I realized I was instilling that faulty thinking in my kids.  I started then, and continue still as they're grown, to remind them how perfect, how wonderfully made they are.  At least, that is my goal. I guess you'd have to ask them if they know how important, how brilliant, how fabulous they are in my eyes, and hopefully their own as well.  That last part is key, and that is even more important to me than what they think my opinions are, actually.  And that is what this whole post is about, really.

Marianne Williamson said, "We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"  Feel THAT!  Yes, put your crown back on or straighten it out and march on out there like you mean it... and remind others to do the same.  We all need this reminder from time to time.  But if you find yourself in need of this and no one around seems to be playing on this field, then go on ahead and remind yourself. Your opinion means a LOT.

Admittedly, I don't always find this easy to do. I'm trying to train myself so that there doesn't have to be some event for me to wake up and remind myself. I want this to be automatic thinking all the time. So, practice, I will; you, too! It is vitally important in a society that is constantly trying to dumb down, press down, and brainwash so many that we are less-than. Don't fall for it!  

You are a QUEEN.
You are a KING.
Yes, you are!

In love and sparkly crown confetti,

Debora Lynn

Whether Black Sheep or Wandering Sheep

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving

So, I've read several posts in the last two days about family rejection and/or being made the black sheep of the family, and how hard it is during the holidays and special occasions. Listen, I've been there, and with more than one side of the "family." I've also been hundreds and hundreds of miles away from loving family for many years ("wandering sheep") and unable to spend time with the ones who love me back. It can feel hard, especially if it's a new situation. But it doesn't have to remain hard or sad. 

Don't be a victim. Find other like-minded, loving "sheep" and keep it moving. Live YOUR life. Find YOUR tribe (or herd, I guess). Help grow a new group of humans that are there just to love on each other and understand.

Thankful and Grateful

There are no words to express just how thankful I am for the loving folks in my family that know and care about my heart, that aren't feeding from the drama well, and have no other agenda for me except to love me as I am.  I am eternally grateful for those of you who took the kids and me in at holidays when my family was so far away. Those are forever treasured memories and times -- and I would be remiss if I didn't recall that a few of you were in the same position. (Look up "Misfit Thanksgiving" inside our collective memories. LOL)

Thinkful and Greatful - What It Is and What It Isn't

By the way, this isn't about giving those that you need to be away from or who are pushing you away the proverbial or literal middle finger. (Though I acknowledge how tempting it might be!)  It's not even the opposite of that.  It's something completely offline from that altogether. This is ALL about and ONLY about loving yourself more than your perceived need to make a point, prove how right or worthy you are, or to linger in abuse.

Just like we push ourselves away from the table when we've had enough to eat, sometimes we have to do the same with those that try to force feed us a bunch of malarkey! Choose healthy options and portions! Spend your energy and mind on making memories that feel good, and excuse yourself from the ones that hurt.  You're the only one that can do this for you.

Happy Thanksgiving, from my herd to yours!

(For the record, if you know you really are a trifling problem in your family, or you have been treating someone bad, this post is NOT for you.  This is not for you to justify staying away or being asked to due to your poor or abusive behavior.  Be honest. Go get yourself straight and make amends.)

My Mama, Gram, and me - Thanksgiving 2013
We always had the best time.


Audio File/Slideshow

Relationship Currency