Tuesday, November 24, 2015

A Day In the Life of a Sensitive Soul

Sensitive soul
Seized by ugliness
Surrounded by meanness
Hemmed in by damage
I absorb it all down through my soul
My cells weakened by it all
My soul can’t take another hit
I wonder why I am so sensitive
Why I attract damaged souls
Irrationality finds me under every glimmer
Why can’t I be Teflon

My soul craves peace, but it eludes me at every turn
Teases me at every corner
Calls out to me behind every door
Blows by the window
Wafts by my face
Flits about my nose
Taps me on my head
Brushes against me
Before it whisks away, never to stay

Too hurt to reach out anymore
Too tired of being turned upon
Too unsure of what to do next
Too bewildered by misunderstanding
Longing for days that won’t come back
Regretting choices that can’t be turned around
Betrayed by promises never fulfilled
Saddened by bottomless circumstances
Disillusioned by treacherous souls
Weary from forcing smiles
I dream of days of do-overs

It all affects me
Family, friends, health, the news, the world
I am paralyzed today
Unable to move
Laden with the weight of it all
Absorbed by my super soft cells
Like an infinite sponge
Incapable of wringing it away
Disabled by my thoughts

Knowing how some that call me love would see this
Only stumbles me more
Shoves me down further
Smothers me like a sack
At once stirs up fiery anger
And echoing sadness in a mix
That anchors me in my hole
Filled up with my own slippery thoughts
They don’t understand
And see me with eyes that lack empathy
I don’t need sympathy
But I know it’s a rare gem that feels it, too

And now the clock is speeding up
I have but hours to climb up
To fix my face, my home, my meals
To adjust my thoughts, finish my tasks
To find my smile and practice my laugh
Before my time is no longer mine alone
Because the day is more important
Because the few who rely on me mean more
At least that is what I tell myself, but really
Because only sensitive souls are supposed to know

                       by Debora Lynn Garcia





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